I didn’t have to wear a nursing bra today

I didn't have to wear a nursing bra today. I realized this as I was rushing madly to get dressed, as I'm in the habit of doing so that my husband can deposit the baby in the bouncy chair in our bedroom and get out the door in time to catch his bus to work,... Continue Reading →

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Motherhood isn’t a good look for me

I FaceTime with my sister most mornings. She can usually expect a call ("from the baby") around 8:30, about 45 minutes after my husband has left for work and 45 minutes before I can put my son down for a nap and cram muffins in my mouth while lying in the fetal position. My sister,... Continue Reading →

This is how motherhood really feels

Motherhood feels like heavy boobs, a full bladder, and hemorrhoids. It feels like bras that are too tight, hair elastics that are too loose, and granny panties that are just right. It feels like leggings. Motherhood looks like blowing raspberries on your baby's cheeks as he shrieks with laughter. It looks like pretending to gnaw... Continue Reading →

On parenting opinions

I had a lot of parenting opinions before I actually became a parent. Here are just a few. Sleep Before: The next person to tell me "you'll never sleep again" gets slapped. I'm going to sleep train, teach self soothing, and move the baby to the nursery at three months. The notion that parents must... Continue Reading →

I am boob.

I wasn't afraid of childbirth. I was afraid of breastfeeding. In hindsight, I should have been very afraid of childbirth. It's been nine months since Sammy shot out of me like a cannonball and my franken-gyne is still carnage. I had to have minor vag surgery just last week to clean up some of his... Continue Reading →

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